There’s a joke buried somewhere in my memory. I can’t remember most of it (I’m REALLY bad at jokes) but the punchline is something like “By your mother you’re a captain, by your father you’re a captain but by a captain you’re NO captain”. I’m not even a captain by my mother, I’m afraid!
So I got a boat. A free boat, mine for the clicking. A cute Takao Flyer. I’d been assured that there is always wind in SL. And some boats don’t even “need” wind – they simply go. I was hoping my Flyer would be that kind but no matter – how hard could it be in SL to learn to sail? HAH!
Got my boat, need water. The instruction manual suggested a good place to learn. So I TP’d there and opened up MY BOAT. OH oh oh!!!! I just figured out RIGHT THIS MOMENT, as I typed, what I did wrong!!!! I never gave my boat a name! Since you already knew this wasn’t going to be a story about things going RIGHT, I don’t think I’ve “spoiled” the ending!
I should have said that I tried to open the boat. It wouldn’t open. Some message about being a sandbox or maybe about no creating. Obviously the only part I understood was that I couldn’t open my boat there. So I TP’d back to my favorite beach. Put my boat in the water. Saw my friend A login. Asked A to join me in my boat. A, being a very wise soul, begged off claiming RL responsibilities. Hmph. Okay, well I can do this myself. So I sit in my boat, manual open on the screen.
Raise! I type, which should get my boat sailing. Nope. nothing. Okay, is this a rez issue or am I doing something wrong? I type raise again, I push the arrow keys. we are turning in a tight little circle, going nowhere. And still no sail. At times like this I wonder if I shouldn’t be pursuing some other hobby, maybe tic tac toe. Finally, and I have no idea why, my sail appears and we are moving!!!! Um, how am I going to find my way back??? Nevermind, I’ll worry about that tomorrow. So the boat begins to move, this is fun and then wham!
I have no idea what I’m seeing on the screen. Big gray and white rectangles. I recognize this kind of pattern now. It usually means I’m behind something, in something, under something, or about to crash. But I have no idea what the “something” might be nor where I am in relationship to the something. I push my arrow keys frantically. I try jumping up, I try flying. Still mostly white, grays and some blues. I don’t see myself. push, click, push, click. Finally at some point I see myself on the screen. I walk. I realize that I’m underwater. I keep walking and walk my way out of the water onto land. And guess where I am. Just about the very spot where I got into my boat. 🙂 Except now there is no boat. Just me.
Good thing I”m a drip-dry avatar. My hair looks great, no seaweed hanging about. No boat. But I’m not worried. I know something will find my boat and return it to my Lost & Found (busted for littering yet again) and there must be a copy of my boat in my inventory. Just then D IM’s to say hi! I say come sailing with me! D TP’s over and I go to put my boat in the water. Nothing. It’s not in my inventory. I can’t find ANYTHING to open. Can you actually LOSE something permanently in SL? I’m always misplacing things in my inventory, but to have it gone completely??? Not fair – no one told me that!!! (read that in a very whine-y voice 🙂 ) Not a problem. D pulls out a boat and off we go, having a wonderful wonderful evening!
But I’m not done with sailing. Oh no, I’m not giving up that easily. So the next day I logon and sure enough (or should that be shore enough, giggle) there’s my boat, in my Lost & Found. Into the water, onto the boat, open the instructions. The sail seems to come up altho’ it’s hard to tell. We begin moving. YES!!! I can do this!!
Wow -look at that big boat rez’ing in front of me. Arrowkey left. Arrowkey left. ARROWKEY LEFT!! LEFT!!!!!!
LEFT PLEASE!!!!!! CRASH!
How embarrassing. Or would be, if there was anyone there to see. Luckily, I seem to be alone, my little Flyer butted up against this big mamoth pirate-ship looking vessel. Nothing I do seems to turn the boat. I have 2 choices. I can fly out of my boat and leave it there to become litter and have it returned to me. That has a certain appeal, I must confess. I’m very annoyed at the boat at the moment. (It must be the boat’s fault. After all, it certainly can’t be MY fault that the stupid thing doesn’t know how to sail.) Or, I can take the “big girl” approach and deal with it.
So I dealt with it. You, dear reader, may not approve of how I handled this. You may think I should have been more resourceful, maybe read more manuals, maybe logon to some website somewhere and google how to sail on off. But I used the tools at hand, things that I knew how to use. I flew. I flew out of the boat, but just a short space away. I turned and faced the boat. I clicked on the mast. I deleted it. No more litter-bug notices for ME! Then I took out my Landmarks from my inventory, clicked on my favorite beach link and went back to my beach chair. I’ll deal with it tomorrow, after all tomorrow is another day.