I chose to do this.
I could have stayed in support.
No, I had to BUILD.
Posts Tagged 'haiku'
Be Careful What You Wish For
Published November 6, 2009 Adventure in Landscaping , Poems 2 CommentsTags: haiku
Day of reflection,
I see myself in new light.
All paths have choices.
Sentences re-told.
No intent, just an update.
But a life was changed.
Blinded by the pain
Sharp steel jaws sunk deep in me
Gnaw the cursed limb off
A little more sleep
New HIGH-heeled suede with fleece boots
Back atop the world!
I am working my way through an emotional situation. That’s not really the right description, but I can’t think of a better term at the moment. It’s like this: Y….. – I have to use Y because I used X last time and if I use X again you’ll think I’m talking about X and, really, I’m trying to start a new thought here. 
Okay. Take 2, from the top…. Y is behaving a certain way. This is how Y behaves. I know this. It was/is not a secret to me. But I don’t WANT Y to behave that way. I WANT Y to behave MY way. Perhaps you can see the situation? I understand full well that this is my problem, not Y’s. So I am working on MY attitude, my approach to the situation. If it were only a case of accepting that this is how Y behaves, well, that I believe I can do. But this behavior is impinging on my actions. So I have to make some decisions about what I want to do. And it’s not that easy.
But this blog isn’t about the situation or my decision. It’s about how to reach a decision. I can’t really discuss the matter with anyone. It’s personal, obviously. I can’t talk to people who know Y and I can’t talk to people who don’t know Y. It’s nobody’s business if they know us and if they don’t know both of us nothing makes sense anyway. So I’m left to my own devices. How do I refine and articulate the issue? How do I test each possible approach? How do I find an outlet for the emotional and mental energy that is boiling about in my body? I suppose I could get on the treadmill and run, but my knees would never last the course.
So I’m writing haikus. Yep, I write them in my head all day long. All night, too. I wake up and find myself thinking on this, and I start composing haikus. I write some down – the ones that seem most crystalized. I’ve begun placing them in a sequence, showing my progression. Why haikus? Because I find that the meter (5-7-5) forces me to hone my thoughts and feelings. I must search for the exact right word that denotes that aspect. I can’t run on and on and on as I do when I write. I can’t use 3 words to describe one feeling. I can’t stray from the point. I find that as I think and edit and redact and revise (see – I told you I like multiple words to describe the same thing) the muddy jumbled feelings rez into articulation.
I had the answer
Knew my way for ten minutes
Then realized I lie.
I read a very powerful blog today by Nightflower. I thought of all the people I have met in SL, all the stories I have heard and read. It’s raining outside in my RL, I am physically a little under the weather today, and I found my mind drifting in 5-7-5. No titles, no identifications, other than saying that the first one is for Nightflower. Otherwise – if it fits – you are welcome to it.
But you are NOT me!
Your facade betrayed my grief,
Imprisoned my pain.
. Snared by your dark light
. we have nothing in common
. My wings work in vain.
I know your secrets
your past history, your friends
so glad I am yours.
. Official partners!
. You brighten my SL life
. My joy spreads to all.
Turn-about is fair!
Sometimes I lead, sometimes you
But pleasure always!
. Mysterious one
. Showed me possibilities
. then you disappeared.
Inworld but rarely
yet my heart partnered with yours
joy when you are here.
. We weathered the storm
. Our love deeper than ever
. We complete our selves.
Love should equal joy
But often love hurts, frustrates
Partners not the path.
. I collared you, love
. Hope one day so in both worlds
. I love you truly.
Thirty-one years love.
Sometimes so hard to believe
Passion flames again.
Behind every successful woman there stands…… a group of wonderful, supportive friends. It appears that the Great Tree Saga has drawn to a close. The conference will have trees, flowers, bushes and fountains. How? Because I have wonderful friends who have wonderful friends. Chestnut introduced me to Honour, who came up with a plan. I arranged a meeting with Honour, J and myself. Nothing could have happened without Ches and Honour. Had Chestnut not concerned herself with my problems, I would not have met Honour. Nothing could have happened without Honour’s talent, kindness and generosity.
I want to thank Bailey as well, who was IM’ing me often, offering support, advice and encouragement. Here is where SL falls short for me. In RL I could figure out some way, albeit insufficient, to thank them all. Some favor or gift, some action I could perform in thanks. But in SL – I know of nothing that I can do. They have all been inworld far longer than I. They know much more than I. I wouldn’t even know how to begin to find gifts for them inworld (LOL – I’d have to IM them and ask for more help! ) No way to move my pottery or food inworld. Nor flowers. So the best I can do is to thank each of them personally, here, in my favorite form of expression.
Chestnut
Warm, thoughtful Chestnut
Always a hand to help friends
Giant, noble heart.
Honour
Generous artist
Bringing beauty to the world
Sharing it with all.
Bailey
True SL mentor
Full of ideas, connections
Failure not allowed!
Hurting. Drained. Bereft.
Nothing tangible to strike.
Simply hurts to breathe.
SecondLife calls me:
“Log on, Ahuva, and PLAY!”
Real Life says: No Time
Sit in the meeting
Not required to present
So I think Blog thoughts
Many approaches:
Fantastic avatar or
A more mundane look?
RealLife employer
Maintains an SL presence
I toured it last night
So many bloggers!
Love to view their thoughts, pictures
Good way to learn more
