Eyes focused on me
Five beings with but one thought
Dinner! Feed us NOW!
Archive for the 'RL happenings' Category
Eyes focused on me
Tags: Lalo Telling, loss, memory, Second Life, SecondLife, SL, yahrtzeit
The Jewish calendar has many twists and turns. Our dear friend Lalo Telling passed away on the 1st of Tevet on the Hebrew calendar in the year 2012 of the Gregorian calendar. That means that his yahrtzeit (the anniversary of his death) occurs during Rosh Chodesh. Some Hebrew months always have TWO days for Rosh Chodesh. Some Hebrew months always have ONE day for Rosh Chodesh. Some months, well, it varies. You probably guessed that for Tevet it varies. This month Tevet has one day, apparently. I believe that means that starting at sundown on December 3, 2013 through sundown December 4, 2013 is the first day of Tevet and is Rosh Chodesh and is indeed Lalo’s yahrtzeit. If I’m wrong – I think Lalo will forgive me.
It’s been a year. I miss him still, very much. Passover came and went without him skyping in to our celebration. After only 2 years he was a regular and the other regulars all asked after him and missed his presence. The high holidays came and went in the fall and there was no Lalo to discuss d’vrei Torah and sermons and meaning and customs. Now it’s Chanukah. Last year I flew out to be with him. We lit the Chanukiah, we sang the prayers, we sang other songs and blessings. Despite the sad reason for my presence, we had a very very good time. I am grateful that I had the opportunity to be with him then.
Lalo and I didn’t know each other all that long in SL. We met in the late winter of 2011, inworld. We happened to be at the same musical event. I’d been following his blog and IM’d him to introduce myself. As it happens so often in SL, we clicked. We cared about many of the same things, laughed at the same things, enjoyed playing in SL. I still have not written up half the adventures that Lalo, Bamboo and I took together in SL. The one in the truck with Bamboo, when we were run off the road by a tank – that was a true SL/Lalo/Ahuva/Bamboo classic. Shortly after I met him he was blessed with a FL friend and companion, Emspar. He and I had less time to play inworld because his outworld was so full of joy with Emspar and with work. We still had Friday nights at Tribeca with the rest of the gang, and Fridays at The Listening Room with those wonderful folks, and dancing at Fogbound and with Noma and Taunter and Komuso. We visited SL amusements, learned to ride horses at Carriage Trade, did the big SL celebrations. When I look back, by the Gregorian calendar it wasn’t very long. But in SL terms it was. SL has never been quite the same for me since he died. I feel the loss so keenly there. A part of me still checks the friends list to see if he’s logged in yet.
I love to think of Lalo. I love to remember our conversations on Judaism, on engineering, music, books, life. He was intelligent, witty, funny, and so full of interesting information. I miss you, dear friend, more than I could have ever realized. Thank you for enriching my life. Your memory is a blessing to me.
Tags: commuting, haiku, stop and go, traffic
The morning commute:
Like using a Stairmaster
With bricks on my feet.
Tags: brotherhood, engineers, friends, geeks, musicals, political correctness, theater
Sheesh. I am soooooo tired of being gender-conscious with politically correct speech. I had an idea for a blog. Friend D just did a favor for Person C. D is all-around nice, helpful, upbeat, fun, smart, cuddly and a good friend. Person C – not so much. D did a BIG favor for C but I’d lay money down to say that had the positions been reversed – not so much. *grin* But this is NOT going to be about that. *laughing* I already got my point across. This was going to be about one of the reasons D said he was happy to oblige.
C laid claim to their mutual membership in the Clan of Geeks. Geekdom is indeed a clan. I’d love to be a geek. Really, I would. I know that typically geeks have difficult childhood and teenage years but then miraculously the rest of the world gets wise and appreciates them. Look – being a teenage girl who didn’t look like THE supermodel of those years was not so pleasant either. I didn’t grow up to be a geek, however. I have many fine qualities and talents (oh yes I do – don’t give me THAT look) but geekiness is not one of them. I hang out with geeks. Some of my best friends are geeks. *grin* I have a very very high geek-patience threshold. I WANTED to call this post: Geeks and the Women Who Love Them. How self-centered, right? It implies all Geeks are men. And that men are only loved by women. That would have been the implication. The true message was meant to be about ME. Of course it was – this is MY blog. I surrendered, however, to what I perceived as political correctness. No “Geeks and the Woman [sic] (yes Michael – I put that in for you. *laughing*) Who Loves Them”. Major hugs to Friend D.
I think I’m so fond of geeks and suffer such geek-envy because I am the daughter of an engineer. Oh yes, in their way engineers are EVERY BIT as geeky as computer geeks. Perhaps with the right teachers in my formative years, or better role models, perhaps I, too, could have grown up to be an engineer. A REAL engineer as we say in MY family – one who can take AND PASS the professional engineer exams. Because I DID grow up to be an engineer ultimately – a software engineer. Ahem. As the daughter and wife of engineers – nope, not the same thing. My SAT scores (remember those lovely exams?) were exactly even between math/science and english/literature. I told my initial college advisor I wanted to make a lot of money because I wasn’t at all sure I’d be happy in love. He pointed me to ceramic engineering. I lasted one quarter – 10 weeks – before realizing that there was no way I’d survive 4 years of engineering classes and the pre-med and engineering students that were in them. I called on my maternal heritage and switched to the liberal arts. My maternal heritage included a HUGE dose of theater (which explains many other things but we’re not going there today), which led to my OTHER desired title to explain Friend D and Person C.
There is a Brotherhood of Man. Oh yes there is. I learned this in my youth, courtesy of Frank Loesser, Abe Burrows, Jack Weinstock, and Willie Gilbert, J. Pierpont Finch and How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying. Shows like this were something about which my engineer dad and my actress mom could agree. Ah, those were the days when we could sing about brotherhoods and men and not feel disenfranchised. *grin*. Yes, I’m being a bit silly.
It’s Thanksgiving here where I am. I’m thankful for all my family and friends, yes, even for my acquaintances like Person C *laughing*. I’m thankful for great music and song. I’m thankful for all the geeks and engineers and all the theater and music folk. C’mon – click the youTube link and smile. They might be singing about the great big brotherhood of man but you’ll notice there’s a blonde in a red dress and red shoes. *grin* Guess which role I want?
Tags: commuting, haiku
Driving north towards home
Eastern sky is dark with stars
Still light in the west.
Tags: efficient, focus, multitasking, productivity, rude, rudeness
Oh sure, I know you THINK you multitask wonderfully. You think the people on the other side of your phone call don’t realize you are only there partially. You think you are MORE efficient because you are doing several things at once. Guess what. You’re not more efficient. You are less efficient. Worse than that, in my opinion, is that you are incredibly rude. Rude. Ill-Mannered. Offensive. You know what reaction you are getting on the other end of YOUR inattention? People are turning off and turning away. Hey – if this isn’t that important to you, it’s not so important to me either.
Do a search on the phrase “multitasking less efficient”. Before you can complete typing the word “less”, the suggested search comes back with the phrase. I was going to put in links to studies showing that people who multitask are: (1) the very ones least able to handle multitasking (2) less efficient than those who do not multitask (3) less productive than those who do not multitask (4) decreasing their brain functioning even when they are NOT multitasking (lowers your brain IQ by 10 points even after multitasking) (5) raising their stress levels (6) wasting 20-40% of their time. There were WAY too many links for me to choose one or two. Still think that multi-tasking is a good idea?
I was in a business meeting the other day. There were 3 presenters. Two of them had given their slides to the host and had the host advancing the screen. The middle presenter, who spent the first few minutes in group chat pointing out that his time was limited and he had to be on directly at THIS time and not at THAT time, chose to run his presentation from his machine. Not a problem except he did NOT bother to shut down all his instant message windows. Still not a problem except he chose to open them and answer while he talked to us. Really???? You are trying to tell us about the importance of your product, and you are opening IM windows??? Even though you were saying “can’t talk now”, you were interrupting your own presentation. How incredibly rude. How incredibly stupid. Even when you talked to us and stayed on the screen, your voice was distracted. We knew you were looking at your phone or looking at the blinking IM bar. The fact is, you were a bore. I don’t know about others, but I tuned out. You kept interrupting the conversational flow. I’m not even mentioning all the times you said “um” or “uh”. You are the LAST person I would ever invite to give a presentation.
I have phone calls all the time with people who are obviously doing something else while talking to me. The big irony is that typically it’s the other person who requested the call. I can hear the distraction in your voice. You can’t articulate clearly what you want. You forget what you were saying. You are rude. You are inefficient. You are wasting my time. When I hear you drifting away, I leave too. This is not productive. It’s also not how effective leaders operate. When I am on the phone with my VP, I KNOW he’s focused on our conversation. We rarely need the full 30 minutes we schedule because we are both focused and on-topic the entire time.
Come on, people. Wise up. (*laughing* Or as my friend Jane used to say “couth up”) If you are trying to communicate with another person, be it voice or written, FOCUS. I’m so tired of emails with misspelled words, extra words, missing attachments. Take the time to – oh my gosh – REREAD what you’ve written before rushing to hit send. If you are talking to someone, don’t be opening your mail or IMs. Focus on the voice on the other end. It doesn’t take that much time or effort. You’re not impressing people favorably. You’re not working well. You’re rude. You’re inefficient. You’re a bore.
I have some writing to do. Please excuse me while I set my status to “do not disturb”.
*Triumphant grin* I DANCED Saturday night!!!!! Yes, I mean my physical self, not my SL self. I had to go to the doctor on Thursday to remove 3 lingering stitches. I tried to put on a real shoe, but could not fit my foot in. I was wiped out and frustrated and tired on Friday, after PT session #5. I decided that I needed to “take back my life”. Before anyone argues with that phrase, I know it’s not a very accurate statement. But that is how it FEELS. I want MY life back. I want to be bustling about doing what I do, with energy, getting things DONE. (Oh my, there is NOTHING more satisfying than crossing items of a to-do list!!!) I decided the focus this weekend was going to be on return to “normal”.
Friday night was getting out of my “invalid sleeping setup” and getting back to “go to bed”. Saturday we met friends for dinner. A mutual friend was going to be playing with his band at that restaurant. We had a LOVELY dinner – great company with lots of laughter and talk. The band arrived with their usual “groupies”. *grin* Wives and friends. Our friend’s wife was there, also a good friend of ours.
The band started right out rocking with “Backdoor Man” and kept going. I was bouncing in my seat, wanting to be MOVING. My friend got up to dance with another of the wives and called to me – “You can’t dance at all???” Well. You know me. I thought “What’s the worst that can happen? I’ll try to dance and won’t be able to shift weight.” So I got up and danced. It was wonderful!!! Dancing is easier than walking. I can fudge the weight distribution much more easily dancing. The only “blight” was that I was wearing flat sandals. OOOOOOHHHHHHH – I WANT my shoes! I didn’t dance long. It only took one injudicious placement for me to decide that I’d had enough fun for the evening.
Today I did a lot of house chores, cleanup, winterizing, bills, laundry. It’s the to-do list scenario. I’m getting things DONE and back in order. AND – I actually fit my foot into my boot. I can’t actually WALK on it, but the swelling is down sufficiently and there is just enough flexibility to make me think that perhaps by January I will indeed be back in my steampunk boots!
You put your right foot in, you put your right foot out, you put your right foot in and you shake it all about…..
Tags: dogs, Halloween, holiday, trick or treat
I hate Halloween. Yep, I’m one of “them”. I started hating it WAAAAAAAY back in 4th grade, I believe. I had a costume that I LOVED – a black cat. My mother had actually MADE it for me. A tail. A hood with ears. I wore black pants and socks and shirt. She drew whiskers on my face. I LOVED it. I was a black cat in 3rd grade. In 4th grade I was a black cat again. And my classmates made fun of me. I’d been a black cat the year BEFORE. THAT wasn’t a good costume. Just like that – the holiday was totally ruined for me. Every year after that, the whole thing became a drag. To this day I hate it. The best costume that I have ever heard of is no costume. Get a picture frame, and when people ask what/who you are, look through the frame and say “I’m an extremely life-like portrait of myself.”
Over the years as a homeowner, I grew to despise this “holiday” even more. First there were all the years when hooligans roamed the streets, soaping cars, smashing pumpkins and in general destroying whatever they could. The “kids” who knocked on my door (despite the darkened lights) were rarely in costume, were old enough to spawn their own offspring, and never even said “trick or treat”. They’d grunt and hold out pillow cases. Right.
Times changed and now it really is more little children in costumes with parents waiting at the sidewalk. Most of them are cute and some even have costumes. Perhaps 50% of them say “trick or treat”. The other 50% merely shove their bags at you. I do think that most, even the ones who do NOT say T or T, do say thank you.
But why are we doing this? There’s no purpose. It’s blackmail. I have to go out, buy a bunch of whatever to give away to a bunch of beggars. Even after we turn off our porch light there are people who come and pound on the door. Our doorbell has not worked for years. My dog goes crazy at the noise and the people. It’s not MY holiday. That wouldn’t matter if the trick or treaters actually followed “the rules”. I remember what it was like to be little and go out trick or treating. You had to knock. You had to say “trick or treat”. You had to wait to have the homeowner GIVE you something. You had to say thank you. If the light was off, you didn’t go there. *shrug*.
Sorry. For me, this is a colossal nuisance and a holiday I could live without. I confess that I had no problems with having the holiday cancelled by the governor for the last 2 years. Tomorrow is supposed to be near 70 and clear weather. Sigh. Maybe it’s not too late to take me dog and flee.
i hate needing help
less pain but crutches exhaust
feeling quite depressed.
Tags: disappointment, shoes, surgery
I was set. Prepared. Ready to go. MORE than ready. Tomorrow was the day when I would FINALLY, after years and years and – trust me – a long time – get my foot repaired. The doctor had a very carefully thought out plan. He understood that I NEEEEEEED a flexible foot. We were skipping all the inorganic approaches and going right for regrowth. *laughing* I wore my steam-punk heels into his office last week, just so that he would “get” me. I said “I want you to know who I am so that if you have to make any decisions when I can’t contribute, you make the one that I would make.” My niece had even taken the boring plain black sandal they gave me and snazzed it up to fit my shoe persona (with the exception of some sequins and sparkle, she did it all with paint). I was supposed to begin fasting at midnight, surgery scheduled for 7 am. tomorrow.
At 4:54 pm the phone rang. It was the surgery center. Puzzled, since I’d already had a long chat with them earlier, I answered the phone. The operating room nurse identified herself (we’d chatted earlier) and began apologizing. Uh oh. I thought she was going to tell me the injection had not arrived – that was going to be the “rare” object. Nope, not that. The other product. Not only was it not there, it is not available anymore. Apparently the drug rep finally got around to saying “oh yeah, I’m substituting X for Y.” Not so fast. Sigh. The surgeon postponed the surgery until he is sure that X will do what we want.
I’m very disappointed. I put this off for years. I’ve been living in pain for months, unable to sleep more than 4 hours on a good night because of the pain. On a bad night – up every 30 minutes. It’s been debilitating. He has promised to schedule me as soon as he has a product that will do what we want. I love this surgeon. From day 1 he has talked to me openly, as an equal, plainly. Sigh. The “recovery” is 3 months. If we have to delay too long, this could become a problem.
Bummer. Of course I’d rather wait to do the “best” action rather than settle for the approach that doesn’t really get me where I hope to be. But tonight – yes, I’m very very disappointed.